butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
