You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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