So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Boobs speak an international language.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
