Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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