It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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