I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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