there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize