I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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