My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
