no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
