under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
