it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
this will be a night to untag.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
