Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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