found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
