Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
