I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
