break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
