I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
