I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
