i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
