the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
