so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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