I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
