So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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