sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
