Sry I called you an 8
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
