i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
