I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
