Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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