4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize