Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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