can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
