I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
