so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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