I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
