How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
