I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
