He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
