haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Houston, we have a blender
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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