dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Everything about him screamed your future.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
