I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
