I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
