Got a toothbrush?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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