u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
