My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
