i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
