this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
false alarm, still single
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
