she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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