I wannas sexs uuuuu
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
