I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Someone shattered a urinal.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
