Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I am one with the molecules
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
