You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I would fuck him just for his dog
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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