it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
