This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
