In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
