to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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