I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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