fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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