well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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