Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i barfeds in our rink
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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