I wish I could punch you in the face.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
