Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
